259 Matches for Matt Davenport

Matt Davenport, matt.davenport1

Macclesfield

  • Macclesfield
  • United Kingdom

My job is so fúcking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fúcking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fúcking dog to work. Every fúcking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single fúcking day. Anyway, I drive these fúcktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shít.

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Matt Davenport, matt.davenport.1671

Rome, Georgia

  • Pepperell High School
  • Rome, Georgia

Matt currently lives in Rome, GA.
and studied at Pepperell High School.
Matt's interests include: The Temptations, Travis Rice, Pichays, Joseph Prince, Floyd County Wildlife Association, Nicks Bar & Grill, Amazon.com, Tasty, BOTE Boards, Terminus Wake Park, Bespoke Post, BuzzFeed Food, Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, River Dog Paddle Co, Goat's General Store, Réve.ology Events, Little Mustard Seed, Pitchfork, Spartan Race and more...

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  • Find Out Who Called!

    There was a time when a ringing phone was a mysterious beckoning, one approached with bravery and cautious optimism. Most phones have been equipped wi…

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